Hi, Beloveds.
Another week into this experience - how are you fairing? I have been riding the wave, feeling the heaviness of the collective at times and at other times filled with supreme bliss. Each day, I am sinking deeper into the teachings, exploring the vastness of my inner world.
As I mentioned last week, in each and every moment we have an opportunity. We can choose to suffer or we can choose to awaken to our Truth. The yogic teachings share that all suffering arises from living from a state of ignorance. This ignorance (avidya) doesn't come from a lack of knowledge, but from identifying with incorrect knowledge.
The world around us can only be the way we are. Our outer world reflects our own inner world. We get stuck in our viewpoint and can only see life from our current state of consciousness. So, to us, this incorrect knowledge appears to be true. We then begin to identify ourselves with this truth, clinging to this ignorance for fear of the loss of who we are.
This identification all begins the moment we are born into this physical realm. We take on this separate, limited identity and forget our true nature. And, as long as we are identified with the isolated self, we suffer.
The holistic path of yoga is fundamental in assisting us as we awaken vidya, or True wisdom. These practices (meditation, Kriya, asana, pranayama or breath work, self-observation, self-study, mantra, and more) help us to release conditioning from our bio-cellular memory, correct our intellect, and allow us to experience our Unified nature. It is important to continue these practices irrespective of the circumstances we find ourselves in. When we become devoted to the state, the practice and the experience of yoga, we are liberated from suffering. When do we practice yoga? Now. Where? Right here.
I have created a link full of resources to support you during this transformative time. I encourage you to use this time to deepen your relationship and understanding of your true nature. Find more information below.
I am available for anyone who seeks 1-to-1 counseling, energetic work, and yoga/meditation practices tailored to suit you during this time. Please reach out.
I honor and see the beautiful Being you are! May we offer compassion and assistance to those that need our support today and always.
Sending you all my Love and Light. You've got this. We've got this.
Shifting from Doing to Being
We're experiencing life in slow motion these days, taking things moment by moment, and being asked to shift just about every way we "DO" life.
With our schools and businesses closed, we were asked this week to stay at home to protect each other. Stuck at home, many got busy with long overdue projects - spring cleaning, new landscaping, repairs, and the like. As that list becomes shorter, and there is nothing left to "DO", we are given the opportunity to shift from a place of "doing" to a place of "being."
This 'being' isn't something you become, its more of an unbecoming. It's not a title you earn or a position that you work towards, its your innate nature. You were born as this state of being. And throughout all of your years of doing, this Being has remained: constantly present and waiting for you to awaken to your true nature.
Maybe now that the doing is subsiding, you can give yourself the permission to BE again.
It's important that as we slow down we are mindful not to get caught up in negative thought loops - worrying about and trying to control the future - that we remain present in every moment. We don't go to the future, the future comes to us. By remaining present in each moment of NOW, we are able to respond appropriately to any given moment. This is where our practices come in to play.
Questions to contemplate:
What makes your heart sing? What lights your soul on fire? Why are you here, on this earth, in this lifetime?
As we acknowledge our interconnectedness, what are you adding to the collective? Are you uplifting and supporting others in this great time of need? How can you better serve your community?
In this time of uncertainty, can you finally allow yourself to surrender to something greater, to drop the doubts and worries, and begin to Trust?
You are an unique expression of the Infinite - how does it seek to express itself through you?
Now is our chance to really shift our perspective and begin living our life on purpose!
I honor and see the beautiful Being you are! May we offer compassion and assistance to those that need our support today and always.
Sending you all my Love and Light. You've got this. We've got this.
Embraced by Love
Weary and consumed by longing,
I was caressed by my beloved last night.
My wounded soul was set free,
when I tasted the sweetness of love.
My spirit was lifted at once.
I surrendered my life,
while overflowing with joy,
and my vision was filled with light.
Love said, "Don't feel so hopeless,
my weary and gloomy one,
for my generosity is beyond
forgetting those devoted to me."
See how boundless divine justice can be,
Behold my immeasurable kindness!
Love embraced my spirit,
and all of my doubts vanished at once.
A new and glorious robe of honor
was placed on my shoulders.
Love offered me the power of new vision
and the transforming touch of divine generosity
and placed the chalice of eternal wine in my hand.
~ Rumi
Choose Love
Fear incarcerates.
Love Liberates.
Fear weakens.
Love strengthens.
Fear contracts.
Love Expands.
Choose Love.
With each and every breath,
Choose Love
-Pennie
The Healing powers of your Truth
We are in the midst of the dark moon. In vedic astrology, dark moons are represented as Shivaratri - the moon of Shiva. The dark moon is a call to dive within, to come to stillness. This moon in particular is known as the Maha Shivaratri, or the Great Shiva Moon.
Shiva represents consciousness, nothingness, stillness, silence, and living beyond all ignorance and obstacles. He is known as the master of death. The energy of Shiva helps us to cultivate a spirit of supreme detachment, known in Sanskrit as Vairagyam. Aligning with Shiva can give us access to our authentic power, our Truth. Much is revealed to us within the deep silence cultivated with Shiva. As we cultivate an understanding of the consciousness of Shiva, we then experience the fullness of life-force energy, Shakti. It is through this union of Shiva and Shakti, of pure consciousness and infinite energy, that we come to self-realization —- the Truth of who are will set us free.
During this dark moon, Shiva calls us to spend more time in our devotional practices - practices that allow us an experience of supreme silence and stillness. The energy of this moon supports us diving into our inner world, spending time in our aloneness, in stillness, in meditation. As we do, we begin to tap into our innate fearlessness, healing karmic wounds, dropping false identities, leading us to discover our own indestructible nature.
The dark moon tomorrow is leading up to the new moon on Sunday. This new moon is in the nakshatra of Shatabhisha which falls in the constellation of Aquarius, known as the water-bearer. Shatabhisha literally means “a hundred healers”. This moon bestows gifts of healing by pouring forth the cosmic waters from the pitcher of Aquarius to nourish humanity.
So, the call over the next 3 days is to look within and inquire -
What is ready to come forth to be healed, to be released, to be transmuted?
Who am I ? —— not your labels or your identities, what is the Truth of who you are?
What is preventing me from aligning with this Truth, from living from this Truth?
This is a beautiful time to fast - mindful eating of easily digestible foods, avoiding toxic energy-zapping substances, disconnecting from electronics, spending more time nature, in meditation, kriya and other Sadhana practices, and really observing your inner world. Caring for yourself particularly with salt-water baths can be very beneficial during this cycle. Observe. Witness. Honor. Heal.
Cosmos and Christmas
We’ve just come through the longest, darkest night of the year. The Sun has risen again, and I hope that you are sitting with whatever illuminations She brought with her. Over the next six months, Light will continue to grow in the northern hemisphere.
For the next few days, we remain in a powerful portal for transformation. On Wednesday, December 25th, we will experience a New Moon Solar Eclipse.
Solar Eclipses happen when the nodes of the moon pass over the Sun, creating a shadow from our perspective here on Earth. In Vedic astrology, these nodes are known as Rahu and Ketu, the head and tail of the snake or dragon. During eclipses, karmic shadows are brought to the forefront of our experience, making this energy is ripe for accelerated transformation!! This is especially true since many of us will be spending this time with our family, those of whom with we remain karmically entangled. The energy is ripe for spiritual evolution and growth.
Wednesday’s new moon is occurring in the rashi (zodiac sign) of Sagittarius and the nakshatra (star cluster) of Mula. This cluster of stars is known as the root or foundational star as it lies at the center of our galaxy, where the abyss of a black hole resides. During this eclipse, foundational beliefs and conditioning may arise to be shifted into the Light. What limiting beliefs are you ready to release?
The ruler of Mula is Ketu, the south node of the moon, represented by the tail of the snake. Ketu is the transcendental value of the spiritual guru, Saturn. Ketu requires us to release all attachments, dissolving the ego and all illusion.
As all of this happens on a day widely celebrated as Christmas - arguably the most material holiday in the world - this could raise great conflict. Ketu asks us to shift our focus from the material aspect of this holiday to the spiritual meaning. In Christianity, this day is celebrated as the birth the son of God, a Light that incarnated on Earth to illuminate our paths to God.
Over the next few days, during this dark moon, I encourage you to continue to drop your awareness within the silent wisdom of your own sacred heart. As you withdraw your senses, a practice known as pratyahara, you begin to connect to the Truth of who you are and why you are here. This is a time for stillness, for reflection, for self-observation.
So, the energy supported is in juxtaposition to our societal norms of this season - the next few days as we lead up to Christmas tend to be some of our busiest, lots of running around, buying more items to express our love for those closest to us, attending parties and visiting with loved ones.
By creating mindful awareness, we can maintain this still and withdrawn state of consciousness while moving in the world. Please don’t misunderstand, drawing within ourselves does not mean that we don’t connect deeply with those around us. On the contrary, from this stable and still center, we connect and move through the world more authentically.
Tensions and conflict are bound to arise this week - remain mindful, try not to react or get caught in karma’s web. Use the next few days to practice this state of viragyam, or supreme detachment, and evaluate your priorities. What is truly important in this life? What message did you come into life to share? Are you living your life fully? If not, what steps are you ready to take in the new year to begin living a purposeful life? Connecting with your truth and your Creator during this potent time will help you gain clarity as we shift into a new year, a new decade.
If you’d like to learn more about how this energy will impact you as we shift into 2020, click here.
Surrendering to our Vastness
I wrote this sometime during my travels in the last two years, and it remains relevant so I thought I’d share:
We are light beings having a human experience. This is the reality. And yet, our bodies, our human form, this container, begs to differ. We are born anew into these containers. You can look into a baby’s eyes and see their light, see their recognition of the Infinite. As we age, we begin to lose this knowing. We begin to identify with the containers we occupy. We become attached to them. MY legs. MY skin. MY nose. MY body. We lose touch with the Infinite reality thus limiting ourselves to finite experiences. And if our body succumbs to disease? Forget about it! Our attachment to this reality becomes that much stronger.
Today I pulled a card during sadhana: Five of air. It’s a gorgeous picture of a angel with a blindfold holding a mask in front of her heart. This message of “dropping the mask” continues to arise for me. What I am learning is that each time I remove a mask, becoming more authentically myself, I find another layer, a mask under the mask. I keep redefining myself and learning that even this is a lie. It’s all just an illusion.
The Five of Air represents a conflict between what is real and what is believed.
This is such a powerful statement: A conflict between what is real and what is believed.
What is real? What is believed to be real? Where are we lying to ourselves? Why do we choose to deceive ourselves? Why do we find it ‘easier’ to believe the lie? To protect ourselves from reality? What is real?
These questions are mind boggling. And challenging to address. Often we deceive ourselves in order to prevent the experience of pain. Maybe we feel if we are honest with ourselves and are true to ourselves, we will not be accepted by our peers. Maybe we fear that if we explore the deep recesses of our dark corners, we won’t survive the pain uncovered.
I am actively working to drop the need for the good opinion of others. As a child, I thrived on praise. I always strived to do my best, make good decisions, look after others, and was rewarded with praise from adults. I loved getting positive attention this way. I became addicted to it.
As my yoga and meditation practice deepened, I became aware of this addiction. In turn, I over-corrected – when helping out loved ones and strangers alike, I wanted no one to know of my services. I was stealthy and snuck around performing acts of service, trying to hide in dark corners for fear of being discovered. This wasn’t self-less service for it, too, became an addiction. Replacing one with another…. How often do we do that?
When I started serving on medical missions, I soon realized that people created their own opinions and realities of who this meant I was; what kind of person I am. Because of the group I serve with and because of where I live in the world, people automatically assume that I am a devout Christian. This allows them to put me in a box and apply a whole new set of labels to me.* Most look at this work as selfless work, and even put you on a pedestal for giving of yourself in this way. I tried hard not to let this praise effect me, but found it challenging not to revert back to my old patterns of being happy others think good of me. Is this why I serve? Truthfully, no.
[*SIDE NOTE: We feel more comfortable when we can label things, when we can stick someone in a box. White. Female. Christian. Nurse. Servant. Mother. Daughter. Southerner. Placing labels on someone make us feel safer. It also separates us, creating division between ‘us’ and ‘them’. I am someone who lives outside of the box: independent female in her late thirties, happily never married, explorer of the inner and outer world, constantly evolving. Even writing this list out, I’m labeling myself. Trading one label for the other. Living outside of the box makes people uneasy, it makes you unpredictable and therefore unsafe.]
This is where my original journal note ended…. I’m not sure what I meant to say next, but I wanted to share it today because I’m still navigating these waters. As I deepen my practice, I continue to have glimpses and experiences of my Truth. And then I get sucked into the world, forgetting my true nature, losing myself in the labels and conditioning, expectations of society and family, and most commonly, to the fears of my lower mind. But, I am committed to my evolution. I feel so fortunate to have access to practices that support me, that are always there when I notice the pattern. A practice that allows me to access my Truth. As I walk the path, this gets easier. The fluctuations seem to get less dramatic. I am kinder to myself. This is a BIG ONE. I’ve started treating myself better – like I would my most beloved friend. I’ve befriended myself. This chick is pretty phenomenal and she deserves the best of the best. She’s discovering what’s important and what is not. She’s finding her voice. She’s gaining confidence and radiance. And, not for any end gain. Not for any praise or adoration. She’s slowly gaining more Vairagyam - supreme detachment. Learning to live in the world but not be of the world. Because She’s experienced her Truth. She is the manifest form of the un-manifest. She is the finite form of the Infinite {AND YOU ARE TOO} So much more than labels. And masks. Trying to define the undefinable. Name the unnamable. Slowly but surely, I am surrendering to the vastness that is my Being.
Experience L I F E
I recently led a class centered around the knowing that the reality of our experience is an expression of our current state of consciousness. That the way we perceive our life, our reality, can only be a pure expression of our consciousness state at any given moment. This means that we are not the effect of our life, that nothing ever happens ‘to’ us, but that we are the cause. We are the creator. How empowering is that?!
“Your experience is a direct reflection of your consciousness. The reality of this moment can only be the way your consciousness is. Shift your consciousness and your reality will shift with it.”
Anand Mehrotra
Now, does this mean that life isn’t intense at times? HA! Absolutely not. In my experience, life can seem super intense and challenging. But, as the yogic teachings say, challenges are only as we perceive them to be. These moments are presented to us as an opportunity to grow, to expand past our limited positionalities, past our conditioning, an opportunity to shift our consciousness and E V O L V E.
Every time I’m back home, I am presented with these opportunities. A lot of our karma is wrapped up in our familial connections and relationships. For the last several years, I have traveled a lot. I designed my life to create more space and freedom so that I could spend more time doing what I love – learning and serving. Lately, I’ve been feeling the call to spend more time in Alabama, more time at home. I’ve felt guided to share more of myself here, expanding the teachings I am offering, not just in yoga spaces but in my day-to-day interactions as well.
Over the last year and a half, I’ve experienced a lot of ancestral patterns emerging and I have had a deep understanding that my generation is meant to break these karmic ties and free the lineage. And so I stay. As I stay in this space, close to my family, I allow space for these patterns to arise - and as I observe them, I consciously make the choice to shift my consciousness. And what is beautiful is that as I have vulnerably stood in this Truth, I have given my family permissions to do the same. When we live at a higher frequency, we impact every one around us. We show others that there is a different way of Being – of responding instead of reacting. And my experience has been that they, too, begin to feel the pull to evolve, to shift their state of being, to live at a higher frequency, to acknowledging their own Truth. I’ve been blessed to have open conversations about these shifts and they too are feeling the support of our ancestors. It’s encouraging to know you are not alone.
One of the most illuminating tools I’ve discovered is Jyotish. This type of astrology, known as Vedic astrology and as the science of Light, holds supreme wisdom of the energetic patterns and frequencies within your being. The moment you came into this world, into this body, was divinely timed. All of the planets and stars in our Solar System (and beyond!) were specifically positioned to help support your Soul’s path in this incarnation. The energy of these planets are also the energy of our ancestors, our heritage. For me, it has been so powerful to look at my energetic blueprint in the form of my natal chart and see what energy was being activated at different times in my life and how it matched with my experience.
As I walk this path of enlightenment, my awareness of the experience deepens. I see challenges in a new way. Yes, I still stumble. Yes, I fall on my face sometimes. But now I have these incredible practices to support me, to help me get back up. I seem to be able to get back on my feet a little quicker these days. I see my communications and connections with family and those who cross my path in a new way.
Life doesn’t have to be hard. We don’t have to suffer. Life, in all its expressions, is a beautiful gift.
A dance with the Divine, in every moment, in every interaction.
If you are interested in developing a deeper understanding of your energetic blueprint and why you may be feeling and experiencing what you are at this time, please reach out.
Let’s explore your own unique expression of energy and how this can best serve the liberation of your soul.
And so we begin....
For years, I have written down thoughts and musings in old tattered notebooks and journals that travel the globe with me. I’d like to begin to share some of these with you. I will use this space to do just that, and to dive a little deeper into yogic philosophies that are singing in my heart. I am so passionate about exploring the great wide world outside of my front door and also the world that resides deep within me - the one I take with me everywhere I go, from lifetime to lifetime. As you can already tell, this will not be a space where I am worried about grammatical or political correctness. What it will be is an honest and authentic share from my heart to yours. Thanks for joining me on this magical journey we call Life.
This photo was taken on my first visit to Ireland back in 2002.
